Everyone Deserves to Feel Desired.

Since I was a child all I ever dreamed of doing was leading a life where I helped others. This is reflected in my choice of university degree, paramedicine. Many other students in my cohort had experience in nursing homes or worked in disability support in their spare time and I envied their part-time jobs because I adore the notion, particularly working with the disabled. Regretfully, I found myself incredibly nervous at the idea and never pursued it. I haven’t had the opportunity to befriend any individuals with disabilities purely due to a lack of exposure and circumstances meaning our paths never crossed. As a result, the idea of ‘hanging out’ or working with such individuals intimidated me. It was a couple of months ago that I saw the Australian Adult Industry Awards results for 2019 and noticed an award for the best disability provider. I was in awe of this title and the gorgeous Jessica Bardot who received it. I think the adult industry is amazing and I am incredibly proud to be part of it; what warms my heart is to consider the potential implications of what we do as sex workers on the lives of those who have experienced misfortune and have disappointing been denied human connection through mainstream methods of meeting partners. 

Any fear, intimidation or nervousness I felt with regards to meeting individuals with disabilities was precipitated by ignorance and stigma. This evening I received a text message from a gentleman asking for me to visit his hotel in the inner South who mentioned he was a paraplegic who hadn’t explored sexual intimacy since his accident. Despite my immediate anxiety due to fear of doing something wrong, saying something insensitive or simply not understanding the logistics, this nervousness towards those with physical disabilities evaporated after I kissed this gentleman for the first time. He had one of the softest set of lips I have had the privilege of pressing mine too, and we just melded together like reunited lovers. Admittedly, if he had not told me about his ailment I don’t believe I would have known considering how natural the experience felt and developed. He left the door ajar for me, so I could slip into his room with ease and I was presented with a gorgeous young man the same age as myself with the sweetest long blonde hair snug under the covers. As expected when it comes to spending time with me, I began with some banter and giggles which quickly developed into a loving embrace. Side by side in a dimly lit hotel room I felt more comfortable with this gentleman than I have some of my personal friends. With open communication, I now realize that I had anything to worry about from the beginning and am a little ashamed it has taken me 21 years to reach this epiphany. I genuinely hope that I made this gorgeous man feel desirable and eliminated some of the fear involved for him to get back out there. Having that impact on another human is what I live and breathe for. 

This experience aligned so perfectly with both my values and passions, I believe it has opened a door to an entire side of this industry I am yet to delve into. Providing companionship and love to someone so incredibly amazing who has been ostracized by societal judgments and fear has shown me a facet of the adult industry that genuinely makes me proud to call myself a sex worker. I love what I do and own it irrespective of this, but it only adds to my pride and ownership of this line of work. I genuinely hope that more individuals with disabilities feel comfortable approaching me for my services. My heart oozes compassion and I would love the privilege of these individual’s time. The strength and resilience of these people, displayed in actions as seemingly simple as getting out of bed each day, leaves me in awe. It makes you sit back and consider the gravity of your average person’s day to day complaints and brings about a deep sense of gratitude. I will cherish this mind-opening experience for the rest of my life. 

I was recently asked a question on my Curious Cat profile: “Do you offer a discount to disabled clients?”. Before this experience, it wouldn’t have been something I considered. Yet, after having my eyes opened and hearing about the unfortunate reality of losing work and having difficulties holding down a role in the workforce, I would like to use this opportunity to announce that I am waving my outcall fee for all of those with a mobility impairment. I look forward to the opportunity to spend some incredible moments with other amazing souls like the individual I met on this particular evening.

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Thanks always,
Valerie Vaccari